Comedy (good or bad, offensive or sensitive, well thought out bits or a drunken rant) comprises the main portion of my life. Add to that a handful of spices, a splash of Johnny Walker Black (Let's be honest, Clan Mcgregor), and a mountain of horrible/amazing decisions, and you get my life in a nutshell. But hey, that's most of America, right? No wonder the world loves us...ha.

"Mighty good Gin and Tonic, R2. Why don’t ya mix me up another? Things are about to get ugly"

"Mighty good Gin and Tonic, R2. Why don’t ya mix me up another? Things are about to get ugly"

johnqnormal:

with-shootingstars:

Adulthood: where you cry while listening to Bruce Springsteen records because you don’t have a job or an apartment.

Maybe nobody will hire you because you actually like Bruce Springsteen and his rock and roll saxophone.

Kinda sounds like someone’s trashing The Boss, but I know that can’t be accurate because Bruce Springsteen is amazing.

Halloween problems

Halloween problems

- A lot of people died and maybe the wrong people survived.
- Yeah, but we saved the world, right?
- We did. You did.
- OK, so, on balance…
- Balance?
- Yeah, that’s how you think, isn’t it?

(Source: doctorwhoblog)

dreamnewdreams:

retrogradeworks:

This is how fucking stupid you sound when you say, ‘No homo.’

Seriously this is how stupid you sound when you say no homo.

dreamnewdreams:

retrogradeworks:

This is how fucking stupid you sound when you say, ‘No homo.’

Seriously this is how stupid you sound when you say no homo.

My favorite line.

My favorite line.

(Source: millimob)